crazy
rilestar's prompt. She asked for some John jealousy. However this fic is a bit of an AU so... yeah, still jealousy though so it fits. I swear!Also, my CSI people, quick questions: Was there ever a Neil lab tech? For some reason, in this story I'm writing, I wrote Neil and I have no idea why. Henry, yes, I know Henry, but Neil? Does he really exist? Did I make him up? HELP!
Title: Life in the Fish Bowl
Word Count: 2,411
Rating: NC-17 to be safe
Summary: “So please stop being jealous when there’s absolutely nothing for you to be jealous about. Lorne’s in a relationship, I’m in a relationship. Nothing sordid is going to happen while we’re on a mission to retrieve a bunch of aliens.”
Author's Notes: Okay so this, this is a small little future piece to an AU I'm toying with writing and probably will write in the future. It's a fusion thingie with MIB so there are a few things taken from that universe. Yes, that's right, fusion with MIB. I don't know where I come up with these things.
Sometimes John wishes they didn’t live in a fish bowl.
A big fish bowl, outfitted with the best technology ever and, yeah, okay, aliens, but cool aliens. And the guns are the best ever as well. Their own technology and some alien adapted tech because they’ve been working hard at making big, super guns to defeat the big, bad aliens.
John knows he’s got the best gig in the galaxy, but the office space sucks.
It wouldn’t matter so much if this hadn’t been where they basically live. There’s a separate room for them to sleep with small beds that Rodney scoffs at. They bought him a huge couch that he keeps in his lab and everyone else looks at enviously.
Still, they live here. They’re lives play out behind layers of glass and technology and it’s not very conducive to having a super not so secret relationship with one of the people you work with.
They’re not supposed to. There’s rules or something, but John thinks they’re being way too naïve to think that people can just give up human contact of that nature. They give up their lives to become part of this. The least the higher ups can do is turn a blind eye to some fraternization.
At least when you it happens in a slightly private manner.
John thinks that if he were to push Rodney down on his desk, face mashed against the cold steel and he’d push things out of the way, expensive and important technology be damn. If he were to pull Rodney’s pants down amidst the sounds of Rodney complaining about all his stuff. If he were to just not care, pull down his own pants and, ideally they’d have lube, but spit would have to do because it’s been weeks since the last time they did this and that had been quick and dirty and between jobs at some seedy motel and John just wouldn’t care.
If he were to thrust hard and fast until Rodney was begging for more and harder and everything because this feels oh so good, it always does because it can’t be anything else when it’s the two of them. If he were to moan Rodney’s name and keep thrusting until they’re both spiraling toward climax and they’re both screaming with it and who cares if there’s like a hundred or so scientists and agents going about there lives because the only thing that matters is this.
John thinks if he were to do that, they’d flashy thingie him in a second.
“Stop staring at my ass.” Rodney says.
He doesn’t even bother to look over his shoulder. Just continues tinkering with the new toy they got from the Manarians or something like that. From the babbling that John could understand, he thinks it’s some sort of teleportation device.
Or maybe it makes crispy fries.
“I wasn’t staring at your ass.”
Although that’s a total lie. Rodney’s bending over his desk and of course John’s looking at his ass. John knows he’s probably not the only one.
“Please stop lying. It’s unbecoming of you.”
“Well… I’m not looking at it anymore.”
Rodney stands up straight and turns, smug smirk on his face and he tilts his head slightly to the right.
“Not that it’s that much of a surprise.” He says gleeful tone in his voice.
John smiles.
“Yeah, well, you want me to look at it. Why else would you be bent over your desk like that?”
“I happen to be the examining very delicate equipment here. It’s natural for me to be bent over looking at it.”
“That’s what the stools are for Rodney.”
Rodney frowns a bit, brow furrowing and it’s like he’s still not used to being called Rodney when it’s his name— well middle name, but John already swore on threat of no more blow jobs and Nair in his shampoo that he wouldn’t ever say Rodney’s first name ever again in life.
Still before John had started working for the MIB, everyone had called him McKay when he had been in the office and R when he’d been out in the field just like in the standard book of rules that John’s currently using as a paperweight.
He hasn’t been called Rodney in a very long time and John knows this, but McKay’s a little too impersonal and even on those rare occasions that Zelenka and Elizabeth allow them in the field together, he refuses to call him R.
“Those make my ass numb.” Rodney mutters.
John smiles.
“Well that would be a crime now, wouldn’t it?”
Rodney nods.
“It’s not like I can sit at my desk chair and go over these things. Sure the data, but actual hands on experience with the device requires… well… hands on experience.”
“I figured that one out all on my own.”
Rodney scowls at him.
“Yes, well, seems you’re not as stupid as the hair would make people think you were.”
“That’s Rodney McKay for you. Master of the backhanded compliment.”
“You already knew this.”
“Yes I did. And I still had sex with you.”
Rodney looks around nervously for a second and John rolls his eyes.
“Technically, though it’s not night, everyone’s pretty much asleep. Night shift time. Skeleton staff.”
Rodney rolls his eyes.
“Those are the ones you have to watch out for. They’re the desperate ones that want out in the field so bad they’ll actually willingly deliver a baby squid, weird fluids and all.”
“You just love bringing up the baby squid.”
“Your hair hasn’t been the same since.”
“What is your obsession with my hair?”
“It’s a sentient life form of its own. And it defies gravity. I’ve been asking Zelenka if I can run tests on it, but he keeps replying to my emails saying that human testing hasn’t been approved yet.”
John cocks an eyebrow and if this hadn’t been so typically Rodney, he’d be scared. But it is and they’ve been doing the whole super not so secret relationship for close to four months now so he’s had time to get used to the weird quirks.
“Hmm… right. I think you just love me for my hair.”
Rodney looks him up and down in that critical way that makes John feel a bit like a piece of machinery, but it’s strangely affectionate.
“I have a lot more reasons to love you than just your hair.” He says, low like its some great secret he’s only sharing with John.
John smiles because he can’t help it and Rodney’s smiling back.
“So… night shift you say.”
“Yup. You should really be a lot more used to this 37 hour day thing than I am.”
“Hmm… it’s mostly because I work straight through it that it doesn’t bother me much. But, I’m riding along with Lorne and Campbell tomorrow. Something about a new ship coming in and one of the ambassadors bring in some sensitive technology we’ve been dying to get our hands on for awhile now.”
“Lorne huh.”
John tries to be nonchalant about it, really he does. It doesn’t bother him as much as it did before, the whole thing with Lorne. He likes Lorne as a person. He’s smart and has a dry humor that John appreciates. He’s good with a gun and has this way of charming people that never seems fake or forced.
But everyone who’s been with the MIB long enough knows that Lorne had a super not so secret crush on Rodney for years. It surprises John just how long he carried the torch really because there are a lot of people at MIB and it’s not like some of them hadn’t been lined up for a piece of Lorne.
“Yes. Lorne. And Campbell. You remember Chuck right. Lorne’s new partner.” Rodney says.
Someone, who isn’t John because John just knows better, would think that the familiarity with which Rodney speaks about Chuck would be the cause for concern. But it’s not. Rodney needs the distance that last names and words like detective and Major offer.
It’s already asking a lot for Rodney to lie as much as he does on a daily basis, it’s one of the many reasons they keep Rodney in the labs lately. He’s bad at the lying thing, everything seems to show on his face so he distances himself from them by calling him Sheppard or detective and on one very bizarre occasion, J.
“They couldn’t send you with someone else.”
Rodney raises an eyebrow.
“Everyone else has an assignment. This was Lorne and Campbell’s from the beginning. They just recently made the demand.”
“And they couldn’t send another scientist.”
“I’m the best.” Rodney says brightly.
John scowls.
“Yeah, so are a lot of people.”
“You’re acting very grumpy right now. Maybe you should go lie down on one of those torture devices Zelenka and Elizabeth like to call beds.” Rodney says glaring at him.
“I’m just not all that happy about you going out in the field with Lorne. Didn’t Zelenka say the two of you would work together over his dead body?”
Rodney frowns.
“That was a long time ago, John.”
“That was four months ago, Rodney.”
“You seriously cannot be jealous about this. It’s Lorne. You do know Lorne right. The guy who was apparently in love with me for years and never said anything about it. He’s like… he’s the closest thing I have to family John and if the two of you can’t get along…”
“We get along just fine. When he’s not paired up with you.”
“Campbell will be there. You do know Campbell right?”
“Yeah, Lorne’s new partner.”
“Yeah the guy Lorne’s fucking any chance he gets.”
This makes John pause.
“What?”
“Yeah. Lorne and Chuck. Doing the nasty.”
“How do you know this?”
“Well I guess you have to revise your statement that I’m completely oblivious.”
John gives him a questioning look.
“Okay so Lorne told me. But still… you can’t even pick up on a little office romance?”
“They’re surprisingly quiet about the whole thing.”
“Yes, well, they’re military.”
“Chuck’s Canadian. I thought you told me that you Canadians were a lot more opinion minded then us Neanderthal Americans.”
“I did say that. What I meant was that being military they both know the necessity of staying under the radar when it comes to fraternization. And they make a good team.”
“So Zelenka doesn’t know.”
“If he did they’d be working together over his dead body. Zelenka somehow got it into his head that Lorne had some sort of infatuation with Parrish. Probably started by Carson’s department no doubt.”
John nods. The medical doctors do gossip an awful lot and John knows this. If you want to hear the latest gossip, you head down to their habitat. It’ll usually cost you something from the outside world considering they all don’t get out that much, but most of the time John can get away with the juiciest information with a smile and a Kit Kat bar.
“So please stop being jealous when there’s absolutely nothing for you to be jealous about. Lorne’s in a relationship, I’m in a relationship. Nothing sordid is going to happen while we’re on a mission to retrieve a bunch of aliens.”
“Nothing sordid.” John repeats.
“Yeah, well, if you discount the fact that we’re actually bringing in real alien refugees and bartering for their technology without the public’s knowledge. Some might consider that a bit sordid.”
“But nothing else.”
“Do we have to go over this every time I’m out in the field with Lorne? Because it could get redundant and also it makes me question your brain capacity if you can’t get the simple fact that I’m not going to cheat on you because one, you’re like weirdly smart, two you’re incredibly hot and three for some reason that I’m not so sure I don’t need a brain scan for, I’m in love with you so no, cheating would be infinitely stupid and as we all know… genius.”
John smiles and he looks around a bit before he walks over to Rodney, close but not too close as to arouse any suspicion if one of the night staff finds them together in Rodney’s lab. He wants closer though and maybe someday they’ll have that. Maybe one day they’ll get more than two hours off at a time before there’s some death ray out to get them.
But for now they have this, stolen moments in Rodney’s lab and beds that are pushed closed together in what passes for a night around this place and waking up just a little bit earlier than everyone else so they can push the beds back.
It’s spending a nice chunk of their spending cash on cheap motel rooms and using the back seat of John’s pretty cool car for funnier things than alien baby delivers. It’s using the flashy thing on the cops when they’re caught having sex in said back seat.
“So… you’re not going to run off with Lorne?”
“Wouldn’t be much of a run when we work for a top secret agency that makes first contact with aliens. They’d find us in a second.”
“Rodney.”
“Take a joke, John. I’m not going to leave you for Lorne.”
“Because he’s with Campbell.”
“Don’t forget the part where I said I love you. Repeatedly I might add.”
“Right, that part. Can’t forget that part.”
“Of course not because clearly, you are the girl in this relationship.”
John rolls his eyes and shakes his head.
“Now I’ll admit, I’m quite the catch, but this apparent neediness and jealousy would be unattractive if I wasn’t already so attracted to you.”
“I’ll count myself lucky.” John says dryly.
“Good.” Rodney says as he closes his laptop.
He turns to John and smiles brightly, eyes crinkling just a little bit in the corners and John knows he’s in deep because he finds Rodney’s smile lines attractive. He watches as Rodney walks close, fingers ghosting against John’s, but nothing too blatant because they both know better than that.
“I know I do.”
John smiles and it’s incredibly sappy and Rodney will undoubtedly threaten him with something nasty to never repeat it, but it doesn’t matter because Rodney said it. Maybe not to or, more specifically, they’re world, but he said it and in their crazy little world it’s the small stuff you’ve got to hold onto.
And John plans to.
FIN