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The Hardest Thing About Writing Slashy Smut is the Pronoun Confusion
Clockstopper's Live Journal
And here I thought it would be a while before I felt the urge to… 
16th-Jan-2007 08:23 pm
john/rodney/lorne icon
And here I thought it would be a while before I felt the urge to write SGA fic. I guess I was utterly wrong. Also this was written partly because I wanted to use my new OT3 icon ( sorchasilver, totally snaggable if you like it. Best I could do with the limited pictures. Gonna try again later). Partly written because this idea popped. Oh and partly written because el_gilliath wanted voyuer Lorne. I'm working on the sandwich thing soon, hun.

Title: Don't Panic, Just Breathe
Fandom: SGA
Characters: John/Rodney/Lorne
Prompt: Air
Word Count: 1,675
Rating: NC-17
Summary: It still bugs him sometimes
Author's Notes: oh boy, more of the lovely threesome fic of John/Rodney/Lorne.

It still bugs him sometimes.

He’ll be sitting in the mess hall, with some Marines laughing at their stupid jokes and he’ll realize that he’s in, quite possibly, the weirdest relationship known to man.

He’ll think about what his mother would say, which really doesn’t help because she had been and still was a hippy like no one’s business. Nothing too cringe worthy and she had been a good mother, the best and he’d learned a lot from her, but a huge part of him knows that she’d be totally okay with this.

Its part of the reason he is the way he is. Straight laced and work orientated, meticulous to a fault and his mother had used to think he had OCD before figuring out he just hadn’t been like her that way.

He thinks about when he told her he wouldn’t become an academic or an artist. That he had wanted to join the military and he thinks she hadn’t been prepared for that one. Loud music and dirty clothes and questionable smells, she had defenses for that.

What she got instead had been a bit of a dorky kid, quiet and considerate and mostly everyone’s friend even though he snorted when he laughed and carried around a copy of The Hobbit wherever he went.

He thinks she’d probably embrace his situation as human, finally realizing her son isn’t a robot and can actually break convention.

It has nothing to do with everyone else and everything to do with himself. He knows that, it’s obvious and he pretends to be okay with the idea, pretends that it doesn’t bother him at all and most of the time it’s true.

He doesn’t think about it. Doesn’t let it get to him, doesn’t let it affect him in the slightest, but there are those odd moments when he’ll think about it and he’ll question what the hell he’s doing.

He’s in love with Rodney, it’s obvious and has been obvious to himself and, apparently, Sheppard and, instead of getting his ass kicked, he’d been invited in.

“No, no, definitely no. That is just… did you get your degree off the back of a matchbook? Because I seriously can’t believe you have a degree in engineering when this looks like my four year old niece could cobble together something better with blocks.”

Sheppard smirks in his direction and Lorne tries to look like he isn’t having a mini panic attack.

Tries to focus on the way Rodney’s hand flail about as he verbal assaults the scientist in front of him, the scientist looking like he’s going to cry a bit and Lorne wonders when they should speak up and alert Rodney to their presence.

“I mean seriously, if you can’t do actual, semi-competent work, then what are you good for, hmm? Should we just send you through the gate right now? Wouldn’t want your idiocy to blow up the city.”

He takes a deep breath because focusing on Rodney isn’t working and he’s thinking about the millions of ways getting involved in a three way relationship with two guys, one of which happens to be his CO could end in total, utter badness.

But then… Sheppard grabs his hand, squeezes it lightly and they’re in a room full of scientists, but everyone’s too involved in the verbal skewering to notice. He looks up, sees Sheppard’s smirk turn into a smile and he squeezes again and Lorne’s left to be amazed by Sheppard’s weird skills at reading people.


He, of course, heard about the screaming match between Cadman and Doctor Beckett.

It’s kind of hard not too. The city is one big gossip center and to not hear about the latest news would mean you were living in a whole somewhere on the mainland because even the Athosians manage to know some of the most juicy bits.

He’s not sure what had started it, only that Cadman had been mighty pissed and, as he is in charge of these things when Sheppard isn’t around or Sheppard’s just feeling lazy, Lorne had had to pull her away and tell her she hadn’t been acting like a soldier.

He had noticed the shocked and hurt look on Doctor Beckett’s face, but Rodney had been right there, calling Cadman a bitch and urging Doctor Beckett to not think about her because she wasn’t even worth it.

Lorne likes Cadman, she’s a good Marine and smart and quirky and he wouldn’t mind her having his six, but there’s obviously some animosity there that Lorne isn’t privy to.

“What?” Lorne says again.

“John, he’s… um… we were thinking it’d be a good idea if he went over to Carson’s for tonight. Just to cheer him up.” Rodney says a few minutes after he had walked through the door and Lorne’s brows furrow as he takes off his jacket.

“What?” Lorne says again and he’s beginning to feel really stupid.

Rodney sighs, that put upon ‘oh my god I’m surrounded by people stupider than sea monkeys’ sigh and shakes his head.

“John, going over to Carson’s to cheer him up. You know in the sex sense.”

He watches as Sheppard frowns a bit and he looks back over at Rodney.


“So, we need to know if you’re okay with that. It’s your relationship too.” Rodney says.

And that’s when he gets it and he thinks it should freak him out, that they’re both so willing to just let sex happen because Lorne’s always thought sex is special.

But then… he thinks about it and he doesn’t like it. Doesn’t like the thought of Sheppard going over to Doctor Beckett’s to have some comfort sex while he and Rodney are left by themselves.

He thinks it should be a dream come true, some time alone with Rodney, but his stomach twists at the thought of it and he knows he’s grimacing.

“I’ll take that as a no.” Rodney says.

“I… I mean it’s…”

“Rodney, I think it’s a little too early in the relationship to be suggesting things like that.” Sheppard says.

Rodney frowns.

“Right.” He says.

Lorne nods.

“Well.” Rodney says clapping his hands.

“Let’s have sex.”

He shares an eye roll with Sheppard.


He thinks that if nothing else, this should bother him.

Watching as Sheppard slowly fucks Rodney, Sheppard’s face twisted with pleasure and Rodney as vocal as ever, asking and begging for more and the way he clings to Sheppard like if he doesn’t he’ll get lost.

He knows they’re hot. He’s known that from the very beginning, but instead of getting angry that someone else gets to touch Rodney, it just makes him harder, makes his stroke his cock as he watches them, moving perfectly against one another.

Sheppard’s got this thing with fucking people while they’re n his lap, face to face or chest to back, doesn’t really matter. He gets off on it and Lorne knows from personal experience that it feels amazing.

Lorne thinks it’s because he can still see everything like that, see Rodney, feel Rodney, but still keep those smoldering hot eyes on Lorne, watching Lorne’s every movement.

Rodney doesn’t often keep his eyes open, pleasure taking over him too much for that to happen, but Sheppard does. Keeps his eyes open and watches both of their faces when he’s fucking either one of them and Lorne’s come to realize that he really likes watching.

Lorne hadn’t known he likes it too.

But watching them, listening to Rodney and getting captured in Sheppard’s… John’s eyes when they’re doing this, when they’re lost to this gets him hotter than he thought possible.

He’s not aware when he comes, but he knows when Rodney does, sees it on his face and hears it and sees cum coat John’s hand and he notices when John comes too, that hoarse shout and that twist of his face so familiar Lorne can picture it whenever he wants to.

He thinks sometime in their post-coital time that he comes, but he can’t be too sure, just knows there’s sticky, lukewarm stuff on his hand and the next second Rodney’s kneeling in front of him, disappointed look on his face as he licks at Lorne’s hand.

Lorne thinks that’s just way too hot.

“I wanted to give you a blowjob.”

He sounds so sad that Lorne has to laugh and he hears Sheppard’s barking laugh and Rodney pouts even more and Lorne really likes seeing Rodney like this during sex, kind of drugged and silly and Lorne pulls him a bit to kiss him.

“Maybe next time.”

Because there’ll be many next times.


They sleep with Rodney between them.

It’s always like this except those times when Sheppard fucks him last and just collapses on him and he doesn’t really mind those times. But for the most part, it’s Rodney in the middle, snuggled between them and Lorne’s okay with that.

“You still find this weird.” Sheppard says.

It’s not a question, it’s a statement and Lorne feels his fingers caress Lorne’s forearm.



“Most of the time it doesn’t bother me. Like right now or when it’s just us. Sometimes it’ll just hit me and I’ll start panicking.”

“It’ll take some time.”

“I… I really like…”

“I’m not pushing anything here, Lorne.”

“I know John I just…”

He sees Sheppard smile and it throws him for a bit that he has to ask why.

“You called me John and I’m not currently fucking your brains out.” He says with a smirk.

Lorne smiles at that.

“It sounds good.”

“Well if that’s the way you want to play it, Evan.”

He smiles as he realizes how nice and right that sounds.

“I think we’d both be lost if you were gone.” Lorne says honestly.

It’s odd, but it’s the truth. He’s the weird glue that holds them together and he thinks John should know that.

“Good thing I don’t plan on going anywhere.”

And in that moment, this all feels like the most natural thing ever.


17th-Jan-2007 07:54 am (UTC)
Mmmmmm ... beautiful. And a lovely touch on the hippie mum who didn't get the whole military thing, but might have rather liked the whole alternative relationship thing. Thanks! :-)
17th-Jan-2007 05:02 pm (UTC)
I like Lorne's mom like that. I usually have her really hippie like. She's just so awesome that way. And canon seems to be telling me I'm on the right track.
18th-Jan-2007 12:14 am (UTC)
I think I only ran across your work in the last couple weeks or so, so I'm not up on what all you've done with Lorne or his hippy mum, but I'll look forward to discovering that, LOL! :-) *must catchup on your fics*
18th-Jan-2007 04:30 am (UTC)
Oh dear. That could take awhile. As you can see I've written at least 62 fics with Rodney/Lorne. Lots and Lots of Lorne. And his mom isn't really hippie, just kind of fun loving, free spirited. there's a few that have reference to his mom. If it Makes you Happy, should be on my table some where, has Lorne's mom POV.
18th-Jan-2007 04:37 am (UTC)
Woo hoo! Great news ... lots of Lorne! :-) Thanks for the heads up -- you're right, it'll take awhile. But it'll be worth it. :-D
17th-Jan-2007 09:27 am (UTC)
Aww! Panicky!Lorne is kinda sweet :)
Not that the porn part wasn't good either, because it was. Voyeur!lorne is much hotter than it really should be.
Nice to see Sheppard being sort of empathic when Lorne's having his little panic attack moments.

I really like the characterisation of Lorne's hippy mum.
17th-Jan-2007 05:04 pm (UTC)
Yeah panicky and voyuer Lorne are things of love. I just wanted to keep with the other fics (I think I'll be going back and forth between POVs in the pattern I set. Who knows how many fics could actually come of this because if I write one story from one POV there has to be one for the others. So now there's going to be at least six. Probably more.
17th-Jan-2007 07:25 pm (UTC)
Oh yay! More threesome fic!
I am really loving this series by the way :D
18th-Jan-2007 04:30 am (UTC)
I'm glad that you love the series.

I mean I'd write it for myself, but it's always fun to hear feedback from other people.

God, that icon is serious love right there.
18th-Jan-2007 08:54 am (UTC)
Your icon is love also :D
17th-Jan-2007 04:54 pm (UTC)
Every one of these makes me fall a bit more in love with Lorne. This one especially. And I really liked the voyeur thing - definitely hot.

But then… Sheppard grabs his hand, squeezes it lightly and they’re in a room full of scientists, but everyone’s too involved in the verbal skewering to notice. He looks up, sees Sheppard’s smirk turn into a smile and he squeezes again and Lorne’s left to be amazed by Sheppard’s weird skills at reading people. Oh, John. He's doing such a
good job with Lorne, isn't he?

“I wanted to give you a blowjob.”

He sounds so sad that Lorne has to laugh and he hears Sheppard’s barking laugh and Rodney pouts even more and Lorne really likes seeing Rodney like this during sex, kind of drugged and silly and Lorne pulls him a bit to kiss him.

I want to see Rodney like this!

Great job, honey, and I'm stealing the icon cos I really like it - there's something about the blue tones there.
17th-Jan-2007 05:08 pm (UTC)
Everyone should love Lorne. He's just the best to me. Rodney's my favorite, but Lorne certainly is up there. I don't know Carson, John, Lorne and Rodney are all up there. In fact I don't really think anyone's really my favorite. I just am more partial to Rodney.

Yes, John, he's the one that keeps them together. Kind of scary when you think about it.

Yay! I made more, but some were icky colors and some were okay. I liked the blue one the best though. Everyone's face are still regular color and it's a beautiful blue feel.
17th-Jan-2007 05:21 pm (UTC)
I'm definitely most partial to Rodney, but John was always a close second. I liked Lorne before, but these fics of yours are making me love him as much as John.

I think the blue is beautiful. Thanks for sharing.
18th-Jan-2007 04:32 am (UTC)
To think I didn't even really like Lorne in the beginning because he was a bit mean to Rodney, but then I read lilyjk's Somebody Else and I was like huh. And then I re-watched it and he just had this personality about him. Definitely sealed the deal by watching Enemy Mine and what he did with his time so far. Mucho Love for Lorne.

Ha, anytime hun!
17th-Jan-2007 06:20 pm (UTC)
*snuggles* Thank you:D It's lurve!
18th-Jan-2007 04:28 am (UTC)
Glad you liked it. At first there was gonna be no porn-y parts, just sort of everday living stuff, but then I was like that's the only part he's actually really comfortable with, i should probably show it. And then voyuer!Lorne popped in and was like yes, write it and I was all doomed from there.
18th-Jan-2007 01:00 pm (UTC)
*smug grin* I told you it was a good idea. Hah.
18th-Jan-2007 05:16 am (UTC)
Well maybe if Rodney went to Carson's for the sex...

Or better yet, Rodney, John and Lorne went to cheer Carson up! Uh, i gotta go now.

OH! Really nice job on this! *g*
19th-Jan-2007 04:26 pm (UTC)
No, I think Lorne would be even more freaked out if Rodney went seeing how he's all in love with Rodney.

Oh dear, all four of them. That would certainly be something to read... and write. That's a lot of people doing a lot of different things.

19th-Jan-2007 03:48 am (UTC)
Oh, dear, guh. Please. More. Write. You.

English. Speak. I.

19th-Jan-2007 04:29 pm (UTC)
Oh there will be more. I just can't stop myself from writing more. It's like a sickness
21st-Jan-2007 02:39 am (UTC)

I really like the Lorne backstory - the way his personality is so opposite his mother's, and the way knowing that she'd be okay with his relationship with John and Rodney seems to make him feel both less and more panicked.
27th-Jan-2007 04:27 pm (UTC)
I've been enjoying this series of Rodney/John/Lorne stories. Loved this one too :-)
4th-Feb-2007 09:34 pm (UTC)
I liked this. I love OT3s, and the coolest, most unusual thing about this story for me is Lorne's uneasiness and the fact that his feelings for Rodney are more defined while his feelings for Sheppard are evolving.

Oh, and the very excellent sex. :)
5th-Apr-2007 07:38 pm (UTC) - Stargate DiversiFICation Awards Nomination
Dear Clockstopper,

Great news! Some of your stories have been nominated in the 2007 DiversiFICation Awards.

We know that most authors are thrilled to be nominated for an award and eagerly await the voting results, but there are some authors who don't care for awards and choose not to participate.

To that end we'd like you to reply to this letter letting us know if we have your permission to include your stories in the awards.

Your nominated stories are:

Blast From the Past, Lorne/McKay, http://clockstopper.livejournal.com/40897.html

Mornings After, Lorne/McKay, http://clockstopper.livejournal.com/41491.html

Say You Love Me, Lorne/McKay, http://clockstopper.livejournal.com/40298.html

The View From Afar, Lorne/McKay, http://clockstopper.livejournal.com/22466.html

an unlikely turn of events, Lorne/McKay/Sheppard, http://clockstopper.livejournal.com/tag/an+unlikely+turn+of+events

Don't Panic, Just Breathe, Lorne/McKay/Sheppard, http://clockstopper.livejournal.com/70261.html

For each story please let us know if you give permission for the story to be included in the awards. Also, please check that the primary pairing is correct and that the link is the one you want us to use when we announce nominations. If there are warnings we should be including (language, graphic sex, deathfic, rape, various kinks that could also be squicks, etc.) or other pairings in the story, feel free to include those in your response as well, as we'll need them eventually.

Once we see the number of final nominations in a pairing category, we may or may not be splitting them into genres. At that time, we will contact you to see if you wish to withdraw any nominations to avoid your stories competing against each other and to categorise your stories into genres.

You can reach the DiversiFICation awards by leaving a comment at http://community.livejournal.com/sgdiverse_award/3955.html (we prefer this so all administrators have easy access to it-- all comments are screened for your privacy) or by emailing me, SGAtlantisLight, at sgatlantislight at yahoo dot com. If you have any questions, see the author Q&A at http://community.livejournal.com/sgdiverse_award/3613.html or feel free to email me.

Thank you for your time and for your lovely contribution to fandom!


7th-Jun-2007 04:34 am (UTC)
oh Evan

*clings* loved this!

And that’s when he gets it and he thinks it should freak him out, that they’re both so willing to just let sex happen because Lorne’s always thought sex is special.
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